Social Suicide Video... I Mean, Life Skills Video

Self-evaluation for Life Skills grade. So embarrassing.  -___-

Dear Psychologist, I Hate You

 (This is sarcastic)

Brent Runyon’s memoir helped me remember how much I hate psychologists. I mean, could there be more annoying people on Earth? In my case, I was forced to visit not one, but several psychologists. I guess I am weird. Anyway, I can totally relate with the way Brent feels the minute he sees Dr. Rubenstein walk through his door. Or should i call her “Dr. Bitchenstein” (95) like Brent does? By what he tells, she really is a bitch: “Most people who come to visit me lean forward in the chair, but she leans away.” (49) God, I was really liking the characters in this book but Bitchenstein had to come along and ruin my fairy tale. That witch!

It is funny that most (if not all) of Brent’s thoughts while being with a pyschologist have ocurred to me before. “I wish she’d just leave me the fuck alone.” (59) I said this to myself infinite times while I looked at the Medellin’s amazing view through my psychologist’s window. “Dr. Bitchenstein is here to ask me about everything that’s ever happened and everything that ever will happen and to try to make me feel worse even though its not really fucking posible to make me feel worse at this point.” (95) I wouldn't be able to come up with a better way to explain how going to a pyschologist feels. Thank you Brent, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one with this kind of  archenemies.

            I must say that even with all my complaints, I appreciate pyschologists and the very difficult role they have on trying to make people happier or have less problems. Not everyone is willing to do this, for example I would never willing to solve extra problems aside from the ones i already have. For me, that would be like doing someone else’s homework. Crazy. In conclusion, i thank all of you psychologists out there and everything but I think Brent Runyon and i would agree on one thing: we dont need you unless you are going to solve our problems with real stuff. Ice cream, perhaps and make it New York Super Fudge Chunk.


Vocabulary:
gurney- (noun) a metal stretcher with wheeled legs, used for transporting patients

Journal Entry #1: Brent Runyon the Freak

The first paragraph of Brent Runyon’s memoir, The Burn Journals, seems very common for me: “Im awake, listening to the radio, and Mom is yelling at me to get out of bed. I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to go to school. Maybe I should play sick, but ive done that too many times this year already.” (3) I immediately picture myself in bed pretending to be sick just because I dindnt get enough sleep the night before, and then how karma gets me and I actually get sick.

As I read a couple of pages, I am confused and freaking out. For example when this guy is talking about how obsessed he became with Vicent van Gogh while reading Lust for Life, a book about “how fucked up his life was.” (4) He mentions the story in which van Gogh cuts off his ear and sends it to his girlfriend. All the normal reactions to this story include comments such as “ew,” “what the fuck,” or even “I think van Gogh was high” but never before had I heard a comment such as Runyon’s: “God, that’s so great.” (4) I had to read this part several times to make sure I was actually reading correctly and not just making things up in my mind. When I get to the part where he “puts his hand under Abby’s sweater and rubs it against the fabric of her bra and the top of her breast,” (5) I know that this Brent is so fudged up. He was touching a girl IN A SCHOOL BUS! Ew! Now I don’t know what to think…

This is my first time reading The Burn Journals and I’m so confused. I want to ask a few questions to see if later on in the reading, they will be answered:

-Are there other reasons for his attempt of suicide other than because he was going to get expelled?

-Is the disgusting girl from the bus, Abby, going to be involved?

-Why is it called The Burn Journals?

-Does he keep a journal sort of like in the movie Mean Girls?

I hope my questions will be answered. For now, this was my first entry for my “burn journal” in which I feel a little bit disgusted with Brent Runyon and how he thinks a bleeding ear is a “great” gift for your girlfriend. 

Vocabulary:

slats- (noun) a thin, narrow piece of wood, plastic, or metal

Not Exactly a Fairy Tale

“Everything looked clean, new, and beautiful. The people looked more able, stronger, healthier, and happier… I was for once made glad by a view of extreme wealth, without being saddened by seeing extreme poverty.” (98) I was so glad to get to the happy ending. Normally, I would prefer something other than a happy ending, some unexpected turn on a very predictable ending, but in Douglass’ narrative, a happy ending was all I asked for. Has your heart ever skipped a beat and a drop of sweat fell from your forehead (hopefully not landing on your popcorn) in a movie when the character is in a bad situation or about to die? This was the way I felt while reading Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass an American Slave.  I suffered through every single page and every letter as I got to step on the shoes of the “chained and handcuffed” (15) and their “fate for life being decided.” (40) So with the foreseen ending, you could say I felt relieved.

As I read some of my classmates blog posts, I don’t understand why many of them give lots of importance to the part where Douglass doesn’t talk about his escape because he wants to avoid others “the most embarrassing difficulties” (90) and other reasons. Maybe if Douglass’ had included some details about this, there would have been more action but who cares? He escaped anyway and that was what I was praying for through the entire book. Plus, he leaves some things unsaid and unclear which adds suspense and mystery to the ending. I, for one, will be one of those that won’t be at peace until I find out how Douglass’ really escaped and earned his freedom.

Going back to the way I felt reading Frederick Douglass’ narrative, I get to the conclusion that I got to the point where I admired him so much that he became my hero. He is different from all the other heroes I have admired before. Instead of wearing a red cape or awesome high heel boots, he wears nothing more than a pair of trousers. (40) The heroes that have always been presented to us, usually have some kind of super power such as being invisible, or they have received tons of education or money (for example Spider Man or Iron Man). On the other hand, Douglass became a hero from zero. His conditions were so terrible, you could even say he started all the way from the negatives to being a role model. He learned how to read and write (chapter VII) all by himself. He was once invisible too but not in the way characters like Violet from The Incredibles is but in a more cruel way. He, and all his race, was invisible to the world. No one cared about them, no one cared for their feelings. That’s absolutely not a superpower someone would like to have. Anyway, Douglass managed to overcome the many obstacles put on his way and he became a role model for many including me.

Even with the vivid descriptions and narrations, I am grateful for reading this memoir. It has opened my eyes to the cruel reality which we know many little of because many times, it is hidden from us. “I was now my own master” (99) he said. And now the story is yours. Are you going to be your own master? Or will you let others bring you down?

To compare and contrast the slavery in the times of Frederick Douglass and that of today, I read an article from The New York Times written by Quentin Hardy: Global Slavery by the Numbers. With the prices, it is easier to understand what the slave owners of today earn. In Frederick Douglass' memoir, you don't really know because the value money they used then is way different than the one we have today. I can't understand why even today, there are people who use different types of slavery (such as sexual slavery and human trafficking) as a business intelligence. I am shocked to find out that even though slavery is illegal "there are 27 million slaves worldwide, more than in 1860, when there were 25 million." It also makes me very sad to know that while I have lots of commodities, in South Asia there are many child slaves that work for example in fishing or gathering stones because this is the only way they can live. 

"The developed world is a consumer of slave labor" says Dane Atkinson, chief executive of SumAll. For me, a world that in many cases relies upon slave labor, is not "developed" at all. I support foundations, such as the SumAll Foundation, that are fighting slavery and making people realize there are many other ways to survive. 

Vocabulary: 

evincing- (verb) reveal the presence of a quality or feeling

pomp- (noun) ceremony and splendid display

Super Douglass

       

       Towards the middle of Frederick Douglass’ narrative, I find myself with a perfect example of how even the most intelligent and wise people are in some way influenced by someone (or society as a whole) negatively. In the blink of an eye, “a man is transformed into a brute.” (71)

       In Douglass’ case, the person who greatly influenced him in a negative way was Mr. Covey. With just two paragraphs or even a few sentences, anyone can understand what type of person Mr. Covey was: “Mr. Covey was a poor man; he was just commencing in life; he was only able to buy one slave: and, as shocking as is the fact, he bought her, as he said, for a breeder.” It makes me very sad to know that there are still people similar to Mr. Covey. In comparison to those times of African American slavery, today there are other types of slavery such as white slave traffic. Mr. Coveys still exist and this petrifies me. I will not be able to sleep today.

       Every time I am reading Douglass’ memoir, I find myself suffering for him, kind of like you do on the movies for the hero or the good guy. Douglass is becoming my hero and therefore, a role model. I hate villain Mr. Covey because he “succeeded in breaking Douglass, crushed is natural elasticity, languished his intellect, made his disposition to read leave, and killed the cheerful spark in Douglass’ eye.” (71) When is Douglass going to stop being a brute? Well, heroes always have a happy ending right? I need to know what will happen to my hero. As for the villain, I bet karma will come to hunt him. 

Bubble-Living

“This good spirit was from God, and to him I offer thanksgiving and praise.” (pg. 43)

                

                After reading the last sentence from chapter six, I couldn’t help but feel horrible with myself. It is at times when I read things like this, or when I pay attention to what’s happening around me, that I feel like I just came out from a bubble. This bubble, I’ve created on my own and I am not proud of it at all. Many of us very rarely think past our bubble and it is outside, where we find many people suffering from all kinds of problems for instance, hunger. Many of us, bubble-living people, throw away or leave our plates full for many stupid reasons for example “it tastes ugly,” “it is cold,” or the one that I disapprove of the most, “it makes you fat.” Frederick Douglass reminded me of how ignorant and unthankful I can be sometimes.

               

               “The thought of owning a pair of trousers was great indeed! It was almost a sufficient motive, not only to make me take off what would be called by pigdrovers the mange, but the skin itself.” (pg. 40) I quickly glance at my closet that is open and watch the spot where I keep my pants. A thought such as Douglass’ has never occurred to me. I have come to a certain point where owning a new pair of pants (in Douglass’ case, trousers) will not get me excited. Douglass on the other hand, was more excited the day he got his new trousers than Colombians will be tomorrow when the soccer team officially qualifies to the World Cup. He was dirty, probably had lots of bruises but he was completely joyful at the thought of his new pants! While I am sitting here typing after taking a bath, thinking I am so unlucky because my pajamas are not warm. I am so stupid.

                In conclusion, Douglass reminded me that I have to come out of my bubble. He lived with not many material and superficial stuff but he managed to be very happy. Also, like he says in the quote I included at the beginning, he was thankful for all he had.  All of us bubble-living people should start living this way. I will start today. Promise :) 

Ethos, Pathos, Logos and Teary Eyes

In chapters 3 and 4, Frederick Douglas makes use of ethos, pathos, and logos. He combines all three in different ways which I really like because it gives me a clear idea of everything and also, I like books that make me feel something other than my eyes getting tired.

Douglass uses ethos specially when referring to those who had great authority over him. In chapter 3, he talks about Colonel Lloyd and gives a very elongated description about him. “When he spoke, a slave must stand, listen, and tremble; and such was literally the case.” (pg. 31) Another example of the use of ethos is when he talks about Mr. Austin Gore the man who replaced Mr. Hopkins. Like he does with Colonel Lloyd, he talks about the authority of this man and about his faithfulness to the colonel. “He was, of all the overseers, the most dreaded by the slaves. His presence was painful; his eye flashes confusion; and seldom was his sharp, shrill voice heard, without producing horror and trembling in their ranks.” (pg. 35) Lastly, Douglass also used ethos when he talks about how he never said anything negative about his owner. This is ethos because it relates to ethics and what was right at the time.

Next is pathos which I think is what Douglass uses the most in the text. Pathos is used to produce feelings and emotions and in this case, mainly sympathy. It provides lots of feelings because it’s his own anecdotes he is telling for example: “I have seen Winder make one of the house-servants stand off from him a suitable distance to be touched with the end of his whip, and at every stroke raise great ridges upon his back.” (pg. 31) Another time he uses pathos is when he narrates what happened to Demby: “His mangled body shrank out of sight, and blood and brains marked the water where he had stood” (pg. 36) There are all types of examples in these two chapters were you can find pathos; from the start were he talks about how a man of sixty years of age got whipped, all the way until the end of chapter four were he talks about Thomas Lanman once killed a slave with a hatchet, by knocking his brains out. In the same page, he also tells how a woman killed his wife’s cousin (a fifteen year old girl) in the cruelest way. Afterwards, he talks about the horrible sensation this murder produced through the entire community.

Last is the use of logos in the text. Even though I still find this hard to find, I think I got some examples about how Douglass uses logos. He uses this when he talks about what the slaves could and couldn’t do. For example “It was committed in the presence of slaves, and they of course could neither institute a suit, nor testify against him; and thus the guilty perpetrator of one of the bloodiest and most foul murders goes unwhipped of justice, and uncensored by the community in which he lives” (pg. 36) includes logos because it is something the audience is expected to know by logic and intellect and it appeals to reason.

Up until now, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave has caught my attention and it keeps me interesting and wanting to read more.